I think allot of us are trying to find solid ground, trying to figure out who we really are, where we’re going, what we stand for and what we take distance from. Some of us just go with the flow, settle down, start a family, live their lives and die. And that’s ok, in fact I sometimes envy it.
But others can’t shake it, shake the feeling that something is wrong, fundamentally. It’s just this deep feeling in the gut. And while others grow up quit asking questions, some never accept the answers given. Even tho they grow up, the questions keep surfacing, seemingly the same way.
Personally, I never accepted an answer that ended with “That’s just how it is”. And this is usually where you end up if you keep asking. Other people base much of their knowledge and understand on “that’s just how it is”. I like to call this the X-Factor.
Growing up the X-Factor is ever present, in fact it still is in everything you learn.
When information like this is presented to me, I have a real hard time making it stick.
Example: 2+3+X=10. Now we know the answer is 10 therefore X must equal 5.
In my mind, this is not logical. If it is to you, I believe you belong to the first category.
This is what I consider “dry” information.
In order for me to understand something, I need the equation not the answer.
The earliest memory I can recall from this was around 6th or 7th grade.
We had math homework, and it was about percentage or chance.
The question was something similar:
You have a pack of m&m, which contains 10 brown, 10 red and 10 yellow.
What is the chance of picking a yellow m&m with a blindfold?
I remember sitting there for the longest time, thinking about the question.
After a while I thought to my self, how in the world can I predict that?
1+1 is logical, chance is not.
I’m sorry, that I’m not capable of explaining my thoughts further.
Next episode I recall very well was 8th grade, it was science and we were learning about the photosynthesis. I have always loved science and physics, so I asked allot of questions.
After the teacher was done explaining, I asked what was happening when the sun hit the leaves.
“I don’t know, that’s just how it is”.
I seemingly ended up with that answer every time something caught my attention.
School was already a big “problem” because the syllabus mostly consisted of dry facts.
Now it was all dry facts, nothing seemingly made any sense.